I'm too tired to type in Chinese... wrote the longest forum reply just now (in Chinese). I understand what people are concerned about. Money... it's all about money. Has always been like this. If this happened a year ago, I suppose I would have left the group. Being a part of the group, like every thing in life, has had its ups and downs. In the beginning, I had the necessary curiosity and passion and pervertedness to stay. Some time in the middle, I had the achievements to keep me going even though I lost the passion and curiosity (and pervertedness). I also had a friend to stay loyal to. I couldn't leave him behind. Not after being the one who brought him in. And now, I have the necessary heart strings to keep me attached. I admire the people who set the group up. Thanks to Hubby, I now appreciate the lengths people would go for their dreams. I have also the friendships (if they can be so classified) to remain devoted to the group.
That said, I fear for the group. I am not afraid to admit that $500 is a lot of money to me. We need the strongest cohesion amongst ourselves to get over this. And we need the strongest luck. hahaha. Really.
I miss Hubby. I have no one to talk to about this. I miss laying with him in bed and singing the cheesiest songs in the world together. I miss not being afraid to go home late because he would pick me up at wherever I am and let me choose the most comfortable route home. We would walk the escalator from Central and laugh at the cockcroaches along the way. I miss having his chest to bury my head in when my heart is tired. I miss having him to consult in before making the most reckless choices (e.g. taking up the financial position). I miss his kisses. I miss him screaming he's hungry every morning. I miss all of him.
:(
I love you.
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